Saturday, September 18, 2010
Hey, im back, at the time of 2.56am.
I envy weijie, i hate myself. I envy him for treasuring you at the right time. I hate myself for not being able to be the best friend/brather/suitor you ever had.
I think i have felt all those deservingly things i should be feeling. Seeing you two writing letters, im really envious, really. I wish i had this opportunity to communicate even the slightest with you. Comeuppance?I dare not say, but definitely to some extent. I wanna say i really miss your presence, even as a friend. I have no courage to face you, I totally cant bring myself to tell you face to face im sorry just because i cant. I feel like a totally useless person when i can only stare at your past messages on my old phone, telling myself i should have treasured you, i should have..
Memories flooded me whenever i feel alone in the night. I thought of you, the times we spent, be it movies, going out or chatting over the phone. I still remember vividly how you sneaked out to your fridge to eat a chocolate in the middle of the night at arnd 3.30am, the day before we went snow city.
Sometimes i really resign myself to fate. I remember I told myself this, "I will only be looking after you when Weijie's not around" and now that he is back, i feel sad to leave. Are we destine to end up this way?I know im at fault for playing the most part of it, but who knows why i do so. I doubt anyone, or perhaps, only one or two of my closest of friends. If we are destined to end up like this, why give me two opportunities to meet you, or three! (Sec 2 prank, P.s. i loveyou outing, its a boy girl thing.) I wish we separate soon, so probably you will be forgotten fast, or rather i wont have to face you everyday, reminiscing our past. How strainful it is, to have to endure it everyday? Why meet you. Why???????????????? I know im like ranting, but sometimes i just gotta say the truth. If meeting you brings all these undesired situation, why bother. I know i suck, seriously i do.
I hope you two will be back together again, my two lost friends.
Stop and stare, no more.
End.
I envy weijie, i hate myself. I envy him for treasuring you at the right time. I hate myself for not being able to be the best friend/brather/suitor you ever had.
I think i have felt all those deservingly things i should be feeling. Seeing you two writing letters, im really envious, really. I wish i had this opportunity to communicate even the slightest with you. Comeuppance?I dare not say, but definitely to some extent. I wanna say i really miss your presence, even as a friend. I have no courage to face you, I totally cant bring myself to tell you face to face im sorry just because i cant. I feel like a totally useless person when i can only stare at your past messages on my old phone, telling myself i should have treasured you, i should have..
Memories flooded me whenever i feel alone in the night. I thought of you, the times we spent, be it movies, going out or chatting over the phone. I still remember vividly how you sneaked out to your fridge to eat a chocolate in the middle of the night at arnd 3.30am, the day before we went snow city.
Sometimes i really resign myself to fate. I remember I told myself this, "I will only be looking after you when Weijie's not around" and now that he is back, i feel sad to leave. Are we destine to end up this way?I know im at fault for playing the most part of it, but who knows why i do so. I doubt anyone, or perhaps, only one or two of my closest of friends. If we are destined to end up like this, why give me two opportunities to meet you, or three! (Sec 2 prank, P.s. i loveyou outing, its a boy girl thing.) I wish we separate soon, so probably you will be forgotten fast, or rather i wont have to face you everyday, reminiscing our past. How strainful it is, to have to endure it everyday? Why meet you. Why???????????????? I know im like ranting, but sometimes i just gotta say the truth. If meeting you brings all these undesired situation, why bother. I know i suck, seriously i do.
I hope you two will be back together again, my two lost friends.
Stop and stare, no more.
End.
i know that i have loved you ... at 2:56 AM
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Friday, August 06, 2010
When i was at tm today, waiting for my bus to come, i take a look at the mrt track from below, the bus you always took, and recalled to the day we first go out in a group. When we were going home from the PSIloveyou outing, i was taking the train to Pasir Ris instead of my usual route to Kovan from Dhoby Ghaut. The trip with you people were enjoyable, esp when yinghui, weijie all did not alight at their lavender and aljunied stops respectively. I was accompanying everyone till they alight(supposedly) since Pasir Ris is the terminal station. However, none of your alighted except Sally, even you decided to take to Pasir Ris. I was texting Sally after she alighted, and after i alighted, reached my bus stop, i texted you, telling you to take care and such, and i rmbed you asking if i said the same things to Sally. I thought you peeked at my msg haha.
And well, looking at the 69, i didnt know you will be there. All i thought was, the bus was filled with our trips to and fro Tampines-Bedok. And recently i even remb the day we went to wrap presents for Karen. You were frightened by a cat! haha. alrights, thats all in the past though.
Bon Voyage for your new hike at Johor(???? like wth) LOL.
k yeah, was thinking if one day we do talk again, i bet thats going to be damn awkward, yeah. Street Dance 3D later! niceeeeeeeee! Cant wait :D and dining with my cool peeps again :D
Thats about all, take care ppl!
And well, looking at the 69, i didnt know you will be there. All i thought was, the bus was filled with our trips to and fro Tampines-Bedok. And recently i even remb the day we went to wrap presents for Karen. You were frightened by a cat! haha. alrights, thats all in the past though.
Bon Voyage for your new hike at Johor(???? like wth) LOL.
k yeah, was thinking if one day we do talk again, i bet thats going to be damn awkward, yeah. Street Dance 3D later! niceeeeeeeee! Cant wait :D and dining with my cool peeps again :D
Thats about all, take care ppl!
i know that i have loved you ... at 12:33 AM
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
I really didnt mean to turn away, i wished i stared longer, but you came rushing over too suddenly, i cant know how to react in time.. I didnt mean it, i really really really really really really really really really really didnt mean it......
Anyway, im left with 152 days, though talking to you feels like talking to a wall, im still feeling very happy still, really really very happy :D but... when that day comes, i guess i will tell myself, 'Weiseng, you tried your best, its time to get over her and move on. She's not gonna reply you anymore, and she will never be your 'mei' to meet uncle zhou with you everyday again.'
Take care, and jiayous, and i pray, this day will never come.
Fearless - Taylor Swift :D
There's somethin' 'bout the way the street looks when it's just rained
There's a glow off the pavement, you walk me to the car
And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there
In the middle of the parking lot, yeah
We're drivin' down the road, I wonder if you know
I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now
But you're just so cool, run your hands through your hair
Absent-mindedly makin' me want you
And I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless
And I don't know why but with you I dance
In a storm in my best dress, fearless
So baby drive slow 'til we run out of road
In this one horse town, I wanna stay right here
In this passenger seat, you put your eyes on me
In this moment, now capture it, remember it
'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress, fearless
Well, you stood there with me in the doorway
My hands shake, I'm not usually this way
But you pull me in and I'm a little more brave
It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really somethin'
It's fearless
'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress, fearless
'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress, fearless
Anyway, im left with 152 days, though talking to you feels like talking to a wall, im still feeling very happy still, really really very happy :D but... when that day comes, i guess i will tell myself, 'Weiseng, you tried your best, its time to get over her and move on. She's not gonna reply you anymore, and she will never be your 'mei' to meet uncle zhou with you everyday again.'
Take care, and jiayous, and i pray, this day will never come.
Fearless - Taylor Swift :D
There's somethin' 'bout the way the street looks when it's just rained
There's a glow off the pavement, you walk me to the car
And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there
In the middle of the parking lot, yeah
We're drivin' down the road, I wonder if you know
I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now
But you're just so cool, run your hands through your hair
Absent-mindedly makin' me want you
And I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless
And I don't know why but with you I dance
In a storm in my best dress, fearless
So baby drive slow 'til we run out of road
In this one horse town, I wanna stay right here
In this passenger seat, you put your eyes on me
In this moment, now capture it, remember it
'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress, fearless
Well, you stood there with me in the doorway
My hands shake, I'm not usually this way
But you pull me in and I'm a little more brave
It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really somethin'
It's fearless
'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress, fearless
'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress, fearless
i know that i have loved you ... at 7:52 PM
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
I just have a request, a simple one.
Im asking for no more, than just to having our 'siblings' ties' back, dont wna severe it anymore, anymore.
Im asking for no more, than just to having our 'siblings' ties' back, dont wna severe it anymore, anymore.
i know that i have loved you ... at 10:56 PM
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Saw this when i was finding for your contact.
'Joanna is a feminine given name deriving from Koine Greek Ἰωάννα Iōanna from Hebrew יוֹחָנָה Yôḥānnāh meaning "God is gracious" '
I never knew your name's uniqueness till today.
'Joanna is a feminine given name deriving from Koine Greek Ἰωάννα Iōanna from Hebrew יוֹחָנָה Yôḥānnāh meaning "God is gracious" '
I never knew your name's uniqueness till today.
i know that i have loved you ... at 8:41 PM
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Monday, July 26, 2010
This is my fifth time tearing today, and its my record.
I just wanna say,
JOANNA TAN, BE MY MEI AGAIN, WILL YOU??
I HAVE LOADS AND LOADS TO TALK TO YOU!
these are some of the stuffs you talked to me,
'Good la don't talk t me alr
Still say wht mei and brather.
You always talk abt your problems
Never listen t my problems
I got problems cannot find you also.
Really v bad ): I want hear you talk abt your problems also canot
You v bad.
Dao me laaaa.
You gooooood.
That time...... 9nov
i call you, you kup.
Damn what laaa, msg ppl nvr msg me right?
WLAO EH!
HATE YOU LA!
YOU SAD CAN CALL ME
I SAD CANNOT XALL YOU
): ): ): '
These are some of the stuff you told me, and i promise, i will never mention a single thing about r/s again, come back will you.? Please, please, please. I really dont want to lose you, no matter who you are to me. I have never feel such importance of someone, not even the one i once loved most. Please, i will never talk about being strangers anymore. I know i know how you'd feel everytime i did so, im sorry, sorry, a thousand one for you, please, dont leave, please.
I just wanna say,
JOANNA TAN, BE MY MEI AGAIN, WILL YOU??
I HAVE LOADS AND LOADS TO TALK TO YOU!
these are some of the stuffs you talked to me,
'Good la don't talk t me alr
Still say wht mei and brather.
You always talk abt your problems
Never listen t my problems
I got problems cannot find you also.
Really v bad ): I want hear you talk abt your problems also canot
You v bad.
Dao me laaaa.
You gooooood.
That time...... 9nov
i call you, you kup.
Damn what laaa, msg ppl nvr msg me right?
WLAO EH!
HATE YOU LA!
YOU SAD CAN CALL ME
I SAD CANNOT XALL YOU
): ): ): '
These are some of the stuff you told me, and i promise, i will never mention a single thing about r/s again, come back will you.? Please, please, please. I really dont want to lose you, no matter who you are to me. I have never feel such importance of someone, not even the one i once loved most. Please, i will never talk about being strangers anymore. I know i know how you'd feel everytime i did so, im sorry, sorry, a thousand one for you, please, dont leave, please.
i know that i have loved you ... at 11:42 PM
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Sorry, i teared over you.
I miss you, and your chats.
I miss you, and your chats.
i know that i have loved you ... at 8:10 PM
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
A brand new week!
First up, im glad to see you back in schl again. Hope the trip was fun for you!
I was having break today at the library as i searched all over the shelves for a horror movie. Just when i started searching, the P.S.Iloveyou Movie VCD appeared right in front of me. I was rather stunned, and emotional after that.
Heard that guanxiang wanted to learn piano for the girl he likes(but he's more of seeking for attention i suppose-.-) and then i heard this song, which seems to be my latest favourite as i suppose im gonna learn it from marilyn soon.
MOVIES MOVIES MOVIES! So wanna catch that show 'streetdance'. It seem like a pretty good one but not many appreciated it as i got rejections on my event posted on facebook. Hope i get to watch this movie still!
Its okay to ignore me, because i know im a fault. I'll still talk to you, till one day when you reply me. And yes, i want to do that last thing for you too. Meanwhile, enjoy the latest playlist :)
takecare peeps!
First up, im glad to see you back in schl again. Hope the trip was fun for you!
I was having break today at the library as i searched all over the shelves for a horror movie. Just when i started searching, the P.S.Iloveyou Movie VCD appeared right in front of me. I was rather stunned, and emotional after that.
Heard that guanxiang wanted to learn piano for the girl he likes(but he's more of seeking for attention i suppose-.-) and then i heard this song, which seems to be my latest favourite as i suppose im gonna learn it from marilyn soon.
MOVIES MOVIES MOVIES! So wanna catch that show 'streetdance'. It seem like a pretty good one but not many appreciated it as i got rejections on my event posted on facebook. Hope i get to watch this movie still!
Its okay to ignore me, because i know im a fault. I'll still talk to you, till one day when you reply me. And yes, i want to do that last thing for you too. Meanwhile, enjoy the latest playlist :)
takecare peeps!
i know that i have loved you ... at 4:38 PM
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Its time to revive my blog i suppose!
First of all, i wanna apologize to my friend, weijie. yes, im sorry for whatever that has happened. I cant control my feelings, yeap.
Next, its to you.
You've always been clearly my go-to girl in the past. Whatever that i cant get to do with her, you've always been the one doing it with me, like catching a movie together, going out. But that doesnt mean you are a substitute or anything, its clearly you used to be my closest girl-friend back then. We drummed together, caught the movie 'Its a boy girl thing' didnt we.
You had the trifecta which i love, the 3s - Smart, Sensitive, Sexy(聪明, 体贴, 美丽). I just realised, when i love someone, i love all of them. I'm so sorry. And now im going to learn to love everything about you, not just the good things, but the bad things too. Not just the things i find lovable but also the things i find not lovable. I find selfishness in myself over these 2 years. I want to say, i'm so sorry, really. You're so important to me that i really dont want to lose you and sometimes i can't use the right word to express myself, because im really not good with words.
Your life goes on as usual, but you will always have 'someone out there who loves you', but what if you realise that someone is me, will you want me to be the one who loves you?
To you, my best friend(of the op. gender), whom i fell in love with.
I just want to say, if you ever need me, i can be there, and will definitely be. One sms, a call will do.
No matter you hate me or dont like me, i will still remember you for who you are, what you've done with me together, ever.
Special Thanks to JJ's encouragement and 'Valentine's Day' the movie, which encourages me to revive my blog and understanding more about love.
-Weiseng, signing off.
First of all, i wanna apologize to my friend, weijie. yes, im sorry for whatever that has happened. I cant control my feelings, yeap.
Next, its to you.
You've always been clearly my go-to girl in the past. Whatever that i cant get to do with her, you've always been the one doing it with me, like catching a movie together, going out. But that doesnt mean you are a substitute or anything, its clearly you used to be my closest girl-friend back then. We drummed together, caught the movie 'Its a boy girl thing' didnt we.
You had the trifecta which i love, the 3s - Smart, Sensitive, Sexy(聪明, 体贴, 美丽). I just realised, when i love someone, i love all of them. I'm so sorry. And now im going to learn to love everything about you, not just the good things, but the bad things too. Not just the things i find lovable but also the things i find not lovable. I find selfishness in myself over these 2 years. I want to say, i'm so sorry, really. You're so important to me that i really dont want to lose you and sometimes i can't use the right word to express myself, because im really not good with words.
Your life goes on as usual, but you will always have 'someone out there who loves you', but what if you realise that someone is me, will you want me to be the one who loves you?
To you, my best friend(of the op. gender), whom i fell in love with.
I just want to say, if you ever need me, i can be there, and will definitely be. One sms, a call will do.
No matter you hate me or dont like me, i will still remember you for who you are, what you've done with me together, ever.
Special Thanks to JJ's encouragement and 'Valentine's Day' the movie, which encourages me to revive my blog and understanding more about love.
-Weiseng, signing off.
i know that i have loved you ... at 2:26 PM
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Sunday, December 27, 2009
sometimes you just have to admit that time do pass real fast, and so, thats the end of our 4 years in secondary school. during this four years, i have a whole new experience about life. i know more about ppl, making friends through hobbies or common interest etc.
Life in upper secondary is great, as i made a whole bunch of new friends. We click tgt damn fast, and we stand really united as one all the time. ppl like weijie, raymond, jingjie, jordan, reis, lowell etc.
On the other hand, i got to know what's true love during my upper sec life. and though i know i spent my time on all tis r/s and screwed my o lvls, i somewhat feel tat its all worthwhile. its nvr easy to experience it, really. if i can choose the path again, i'd probably walk it all over again, but tis time, i shld probably learn how to be early-.-
My confidante, Ms Goy ShiQin aka mrs tan yu xuan, is a gem in the class or school. I hadnt found someone who sincerely treats friends in school since i got promoted to secondary school. Though we're close now, i still want to tell you, im sorry confidante, i should have never abandon you at all, dui bu qi..
There's this girl who i have affection for, have always been standing by me thruout tis years. She's great, and i will never forget the moments i spent with her, snow city, 'its a boy-girl thing' NC16 movie(at 15 years of age) and sunrises~ Thank you, hope we can spend our christmas tgt in future..
and now.. class chalet. siannnnnnnn, no 4d3n, but im still really looking forward to it hahas. and i suppose im back to blogging?im not too sure either, seeyou soonz~~~
Life in upper secondary is great, as i made a whole bunch of new friends. We click tgt damn fast, and we stand really united as one all the time. ppl like weijie, raymond, jingjie, jordan, reis, lowell etc.
On the other hand, i got to know what's true love during my upper sec life. and though i know i spent my time on all tis r/s and screwed my o lvls, i somewhat feel tat its all worthwhile. its nvr easy to experience it, really. if i can choose the path again, i'd probably walk it all over again, but tis time, i shld probably learn how to be early-.-
My confidante, Ms Goy ShiQin aka mrs tan yu xuan, is a gem in the class or school. I hadnt found someone who sincerely treats friends in school since i got promoted to secondary school. Though we're close now, i still want to tell you, im sorry confidante, i should have never abandon you at all, dui bu qi..
There's this girl who i have affection for, have always been standing by me thruout tis years. She's great, and i will never forget the moments i spent with her, snow city, 'its a boy-girl thing' NC16 movie(at 15 years of age) and sunrises~ Thank you, hope we can spend our christmas tgt in future..
and now.. class chalet. siannnnnnnn, no 4d3n, but im still really looking forward to it hahas. and i suppose im back to blogging?im not too sure either, seeyou soonz~~~
i know that i have loved you ... at 1:13 PM
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
